Losing a loved one is an incredibly difficult thing to go through, and is one of life’s greatest challenges. It can completely take over your life and feel all-consuming, leaving you feeling a mixture of very intense emotions. Everyone experiences grief differently, and in this blog post, we are going to explore some of the strategies for coping with the loss of a loved one.
Grief In It's Entirety
Grief is a very natural reaction to loss, and it can be displayed in many different forms. Some people become angry, some isolate themselves. The process of grief cannot be rushed, and everyone goes through it at different rates. Understanding the stages of grief is a good place to start: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Having these stages in the back of your mind will help reassure you as you start the healing journey that experiencing these emotions is considered to be normal.
The stages of grief are also not linear, it isn’t a case of going from one to the other until you are completely healed. You may experience depression before anger, or you might not experience any of these specific emotions. Grief is a complete rollercoaster, and different things will trigger different emotional responses. The most important thing to acknowledge is that your feelings are valid, no matter how extreme they may feel. This will help you slowly cope with the loss.
Allow Yourself To Grieve
Try not to be a martyr and hide all of your emotions, pretending you are fine on the outside while falling to pieces on the inside. It is completely acceptable to grieve, and at a pace that is right for you - there is no timeline you have to follow. Unfortunately, the sadness that you feel may continue for a few years, but the intensity should reduce over time.
Giving yourself permission to grieve without passing judgment. If you don’t let these feelings out now, you may well find yourself intensely mourning for a long period of time and that can start negatively impacting your daily life. Even if it means that you have a good cry, or chat with a loved one, let your feelings out in a way that you feel comfortable.
Seek Support When Coping With Loss
Grief is not something that you should go through alone, make sure you lean on family and friends for support. It is so easy to become isolated during this time, and staying connected with friends and family may take a lot of extra strength but it is really important to do so. Also be mindful that people may not know how to help you, so guide them in the right direction.
Support groups can also be invaluable, allowing you to connect with others who are going through similar thoughts and feelings. They can help form a sense of understanding, and if you don’t feel like sharing your experience, even just listening to others can help you feel less alone.
Look After Yourself
Grief can take its toll mentally and physically too. It is really important that you remember to look after yourself, even covering the basics like eating healthily and getting out for some fresh air each day. Sleep
can be a struggle during a time of grief, so put together a calming bedtime routine to help slow the thoughts racing around your head.
Carry out gentle activities that you enjoy, such as taking your dog for a walk, or completing a group exercise class. It is ok to find moments of joy and laughter in your life too, don’t feel guilty for giving yourself a break from grief. Those little moments will gradually help to bring your spark back again, but it doesn’t mean the person you have lost is erased from your memory.
Plan Ahead For Significant Dates
Birthdays and anniversaries can be incredibly challenging to face after a loss, and during these times often memories of the deceased will come flooding back. It is completely normal to experience this surge of grief, but you do need to be prepared for this. Plan ahead how you are going to spend these significant dates - try and make sure you are with someone for the majority of the day, but also carve out some time to be alone and grieve in your own way. Give yourself flexibility as on the day itself you may not feel up to anything, and that is perfectly ok.
Coping with the loss of a loved one is filled with ups and downs, and is a process that you need to figure your own way through. The pain of your loss may never completely go away, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can continue to live a fulfilled life.
If you would like to find out how the team at Threadgold Funeral Directors can assist with saying goodbye to a loved one, contact us today. We offer 24-hour support for anyone who is struggling when it comes to coping with a loss.
