Losing a spouse is not something you can prepare for, and for those who have spent years or even decades together, it can suddenly feel like you have lost a physical part of your own body. Transitioning to living alone can be incredibly difficult, and as a child of a bereaved parent, you may feel it is your duty to support them during this horrible time. While they will need help and guidance, it is important their independence is also respected. Carry on reading to find out the best way to help a bereaved parent adjust to living alone.
Understanding Their Loss
When a parent loses their better half, they are losing the one person they confided in, their soulmate and the main part of their daily life. A home can suddenly feel like a house, filled with emptiness and quietness. The feelings of grief will be really strong, but they will also have to navigate a sense of fear, loneliness and uncertainty about the future they face alone.
Before offering support to a parent it is important to listen to them, taking the time to understand their grief and acknowledge the pain they are going through. Grief isn’t something that can be ‘fixed’, so just being there for them is the best you can do during the early stages.
Encourage Them To Stay Connected
Sudden isolation is incredibly difficult to navigate for a bereaved parent. It is the small things like not having someone to share daily conversations with that will start taking their toll. Encouraging your parent to keep interacting socially is important to ensure they don’t isolate themselves. This doesn’t mean asking their friends to invite them to celebratory events, but small social gatherings could be exactly what they need to remind them they aren’t alone.
Your parent may be reluctant and put up a fight to start with, so try and calmly explain the benefits of remaining connected with their friends. Socialising can provide a sense of normality, which is sometimes exactly what is needed for someone who is grieving.
Help Them With Their Routine
Routines can provide a real sense of comfort, and after losing a spouse that may have been completely thrown up into the air. Helping your parent re-establish a new routine can provide them with a sense of purpose, and a reason to get up in the morning. Remind them of the hobbies they always used to enjoy (preferably one that didn’t involve the deceased) and see if you can help them re-engage with that.
It doesn’t have to be an adrenaline-seeking adventure, it may have been something relaxing like gardening or reading that has just taken a backseat during this period of grief. A grieving parent may not know where to start when it comes to living without their spouse and may need assistance when it comes to developing a new routine without them.
Support Their Independence
When faced with a bereaved parent, all you want to do is help them in every possible way but remember to consider their wants and needs. It is natural for you to want to be there for them, but they also need some time to adjust to their new circumstances. Respect their wishes, and rather than doing everything for them just ask what help they need from you. It may be that they struggle more with tasks
their other half used to deal with, such as finances or shopping. This is where you can step in and be their support.
There is nothing worse than having an overbearing person constantly in your life when you are grieving, simply letting your bereaved parent know you are there for them is enough. They will reach out when they need you that way.
Consider Practical Matters
Living alone can bring with it practical challenges. Does your parent need help with cooking or driving now? Think about whether you need to bring in some external assistance to enable them to carry out their everyday tasks.
Helping a bereaved parent is a journey, and requires a lot of patience and time while they adjust to their new way of life. Remember to look after yourself in this process too, as you have also lost someone very dear to you. With time you can both support each other and move forward with a small glimmer of hope.
The team at Threadgold Funeral Directors are on hand with 24-hour support for anyone who is struggling during a difficult time, please contact us and we will support you through this.
